Saturday, March 24, 2012

How To Be A Successful Criminal

Step 1: Don't be a criminal.
Step 2: If you must be a criminal, do not rob a bank across from the federal courthouse in downtown Milwaukee.
Step 3: If you must rob the bank across the street from the federal courthouse in downtown Milwaukee, pay attention to your escape route. If three blocks into your escape route, you notice a police car up ahead, select a different route.
Step 4: Do not run alongside the police car.
Step 5: If you have a book in your possession titled "How To Be A Successful Criminal", do not bring it with you to the robbery.
Step 6: Please note that the book does not actually give such instructions, but rather attempts to steer at-risk youth away from a life of crime altogether, or failing that, attempts to explain how the skill sets used in a life of crime can be redirected towards more legitimate pursuits.

When the cops joked about the criminal not reading the book, it's possible they had read it themselves, but more likely, they hadn't and simply didn't know how right they were.

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