Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sell, Mortimer, Sell!

Congress, at this point, is all but resigned to going over the fiscal cliff tomorrow night. That, you've been watching for a while. What may be lost in the mix, though, is what the rest of the world is seeing when they look at the same thing.

So here today is a sampling of other nations and how they view America's fiscal cliff.

Australia: 'We've got a good thing going; even so, we may want to brace for impact a bit ourselves. It's not like America's economy doesn't have any effect on us.'
Brazil: 'Eep. This could be kind of bad.'
Canada: 'You know, if you guys paid attention to what goes on up here more often, maybe we could give you a couple pointers.'
Cayman Islands: 'Hey, what's Code Pink doing here? They just waltzed off the boat mid-cruise and started protesting? What the hell did we do? ...oh. Right.'
Central African Republic: ''ll probably hurt the foreign aid deals of everyone else around these parts, but you just closed your embassy here three days ago because of a budding civil war we've got going, so... yeah. Last thing on our minds right now.'
China: 'Hi, we're Dagong, China's major credit agency, and we're moving the US to a negative debt outlook.'
Colombia: 'What Australia said.'
Eurozone: 'Sigh. Here we go again.'
India: 'This AND the girl that got gang-raped to death? Man, we do not need this.'
Israel: 'Hey, how closely does our economy tie into American foreign policy again? Hopefully not a lot. ...say what now?  ...ohhhhhhh crap.'
Japan: 'Busy over here, thanks. We've got an unruly yen to get under control.'
Mexico: 'You can just go ahead and stop talking about that fence now. You'll be in no position to be patrolling it. Also, ouch our wallets.'
Portugal: 'Oh, to hell with you guys, we have our own problems. We've got a fiscal earthquake. Beat that.'
Thailand: 'This could sting a little bit.'
United Kingdom: 'Google Translate is fun!'

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