Sunday, May 26, 2013

How To Commit Burglary

1. Don't commit burglary.
2. If you must commit burglary, try to run a slim operation. Excess lines of communication should be cut.
3. If using accomplices, if your entire crew is with you, phones will be unnecessary for the task at hand. Don't carry a phone.
4. If you must carry a phone, turn it off until needed.
5. If you must have the phone on, use a keypad lock so that numbers are not accidentally dialed.
6. Do not carry the phone in a place where a number can be accidentally dialed with your butt.
7. Do make sure that any number accidentally dialed is not 911.
8. If you think 911 may have been dialed, get rid of the phone quickly.
9. Do not allow the 911 dispatcher to listen to the duration of the crime.
10. Yes, even if it also involves drugs.

BONUS TIP: If there's a murder that you may have committed, don't butt-dial 911 for that either.

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